Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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