After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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