I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
