Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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