i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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