Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
