she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
