I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
