Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
