I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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