Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
