I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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