My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize