So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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