the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
