Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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