i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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