Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
