I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
