the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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