At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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