So drunk its hurt
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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