Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
