She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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