im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Everclear isn't food dammit
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize