there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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