Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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