Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
