Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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