I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He felt like a one man threesome
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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