literally had 100 drinks last night.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My vagina is very pro this idea
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
