Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
