My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
