How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
