My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
