he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
