just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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