wakey wakey hands off snakey
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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