I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
