Soap is not a condiment
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
