You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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