either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
