never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
