yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
