I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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