Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
