everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
