awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
