We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
