WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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