eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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