Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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