my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We are two peas in an std pod
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
