Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
