Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
