I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
