That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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