So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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