I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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