dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
