I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
