Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We have started to decorate penises.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
