Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
